Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
