My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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