Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My pussy is not your playground.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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