Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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