Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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