if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
