My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
