Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize