i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
