your thong is hanging out like whoa
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
