Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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