I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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