weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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