I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Fuck appropriateness.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
