"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
