She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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