It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
