Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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