He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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