Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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