Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
