You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
