dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
