My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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