god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
