Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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