Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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