You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
