I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
