State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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