if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
