so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize