Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
