but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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