Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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