There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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