Don't you send me to vm
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
