What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
