Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
