sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
