Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize