"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm passing your future prison.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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