So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
