I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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