I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Randomize
