i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
