Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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