Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
we should paint friendship bongs
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
