I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
