Too much gin, very little bucket
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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