Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
