my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My balls are so social today.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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