I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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