Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
