There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
