Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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