i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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