erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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