never play flip cup with pint glasses
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
