Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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