he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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